Thursday, October 25, 2012


I am human.
I need to breathe with control and love without condition.
Love is sacred, vast and omniscient.
It has depth beyond recognition.
Without it life is void of all meaning.
There are symptoms and subjects given
to excuse faults and undermine the reality of improvement.
And I, being full of willingness to overcome
am greater than a symptom with paralysis and a diagnosis.
Free of doubt, reluctance and fear,
I live for the positive understanding that is happiness.
That which is acceptance of jubilee.
With gratitude I strive each day
into newness with confidence and dignity.
I am self-sufficient and full of power.
I openly accept control.

Monday, January 30, 2012

My common delusion is that perfection is a tangible happiness, an attainable felicity. But happiness is gratefully accepting it's not

Friday, November 18, 2011

Blessed are the pure in heart.

The local gas station up the street from where I live is always being run by the same man. I frequent this particular place about 3 times a week, without fail. The man has dread locks and speaks with an accent. Never a negative vibe from him. I usually just say my usual greeting, pay for my cheap cigarettes and go. But tonight I made a comment about how often he works, and he informed me that he works 7 days a week. I told him something along the lines of "well, at least you can sleep in" after finding out his ours at this BP station, but he shook his head. Little did I know, he's got a family of 4 in Africa, and he supports them by himself. "There's a second job", he tells me. "Sometimes you have to do more than you need to for just help others". He said that he doesn't always want to grind to pay the extra, but he is working his hardest to have his kids move here to Florida. It is worth the added effort to him, a beautiful and noteworthy thing. His heart was emerging from his body as he explained all of this. I saw the raw battle against self versus selflessness, and it was obvious the latter was winning.

The trapped feeling being emitted by this man lasted but a moment, when it took a bold turn to a positive outlook. His hard work and the love for his family brought me to a realization; what it means to be happy with what I have. I only support myself. I do what I want, when I want, and enjoy my part-time restaurant job. I don't even have any pets. I take care of ME, focus on ME, and never really think past the idea of my self-indulged lifestyle.

What happened tonight hit me hard in the heart. Made me think, reflect, and above all things it drew a gratefulness out of me that I'd not yet experienced. Sure, growing up you learn to be happy with what you have, but the more I think about this man's situation the more I look like a lousy human being. There's no award for being a self-absorbed part-time worker. And unfortunately there's not a scholarship for a pure heart. But there are blessings granted to those who are of this caliber. Unseen and unforeseen. I admire what is to come for such a being as this guy, whose name I cannot pronounce, from a place in Africa I cannot locate on a map, with a heart of love I can but hallucinate.

I realize I am blessed when I meet someone who supports their 3 kids in another country, works 2 jobs 7 days a week here in the states.. just make conversation with people, because understanding people's struggles and values is understanding gratitude and truly defines love. Real and untainted.

All it takes is a mouth to smile and an ear to hear.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

though i create for us so many goodbyes, it always strengthens our next hello.

though i create for us so many goodbyes, it always strengthens our next hello.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010


I live my life, a series of moments and decisions, with the knowledge that I am loved. I am loved by family and friends, that is for certain. But what is this thing called love? A feeling, passion, affection, to need or require without compensation.. And is it timeless and eternal like the God of man who can be studied in the Bible, who can be a personal companion spiritually? That can be proven, yes, but with personal experience.
I feel love given me. I see it daily. It provides me with joy and satisfies that want to be nurtured people are born with, then gives reason and opportunity to love back. But where does it come from? It is relatively easy to identify the feeling, but to find the quintessence can be a journey, if trying to rule out Creationism. So why do that? A God, body unseen but not unheard can be given that credit. The prevalence of such a creator is entirely everywhere. And the love unconditional. I struggle with a selfishness and hope that man can come up with some idea that makes sense about where everything came from. There was initially a seed planted or rather there is a boundless, infinite author of love, the author of life. This love is stronger than humanly possible--had to be in order to support all mankind despite astounding imperfection.

I've got to pick up where I left off later. Time to go live off of some lovin'

Saturday, August 14, 2010

"We are happy when for everything inside us there is a corresponding something outside us." WBY