Tuesday, August 11, 2009

irrevocably enchanted.

take advantage of your opportunities

tell me you love me every chance you get

take no time for granted

live for the moment

and love with everything you have

um, possibly best advice ever given me. the man should write music or something. or just love me for a good long time.. and never giving up on me (as i'm not as strong as he). *but, i will be. so--please don't fear a shallow or minuscule underlying amount of confidence. i do not know such a bleak heart. not in myself.

happiness is a choice. so as long as the choice is made to follow the words above i know i can attain quite the satisfactory life. the first time reading the quote (yes i just called it a "quote" ;) i immediately saved it, without hesitation. to me it sums up blissfulness and truly sweet, beautiful love. and living to the fullest potential in harmony with the people around. what more could a person ask for? it takes two to tango, you know. and why can't everyone just consume themselves in love, in peace, and being positive. wow sounds really flowery and euphoric, hardly practical. but in fact it is practical. he's always been practical and into being selfless, while gently leading others to enjoy life just as he does. and giving all the while. giving more than anyone i know. sharing happiness and being available and holding a person at such high value.

and it took me this long to really understand this. oh time really does torture a person. while building and growing stronger through every bit. thanks time, for beating me up.. i'm ready for the next punch whenever. guess you could say i'm a glutton for punishment.

well, endless possibilities lie in everyone, in every heart. the choices are right there. the potential unfathomable. oh, to be irrevocably enchanted and consumed.

i have nothing but thanks in my heart at this point. so much thankfulness, in fact, it happens to overflow into an absolute and grateful type of love. giving me an obstinate countenance in the most positive way. an intricate and personal feeling, that is all. everyone has their own version. mine includes another person. and further, mine is because of another person.

deep breath, don't cry. i know that was beautiful.

and so are blue eyes and spontaneous i love you's. ridiculously beautiful.


well, to contrast. this is about 6 months old, un vislumbre de la vida at a different time and through different eyes. one of those recuperations from a really hard blow, a temporary paralysis.

might be back in the archives of the blog world but it recently sparked new and fresh interest into my ever-changing, learning mind. so here it is, slightly short- but- new- old stuff...

Sometimes, looking for help, hindrance finds me instead. Or a hindrance can be disguised as a help, or vice versa. I believe I have paralyzed my emotions, to a point where my thoughts no longer make sense. I've lost meaning, motivation, and peace. I have all of the tools needed to overcome this monster of sorts yet I doubt everything. I doubt purpose, love, justice. I am unsure of everything, I dwell in the pity of my past. And lack a desire to examine my heart, to see the extent of the ugliness present.

...ugh (sound of disgust), so that was yucky, for lack of a more pedantic term. those days were uncomfortable and full of aches. yet those make up the time when i had to fight against everything natural to overcome the horrid flesh and grow healthier and stronger. to mold and shape who i am now, to who i will be. it was one of the more difficult instances in the scant amount of days i've lived. not an enjoyable time to say the least. only now is it possible to feel so grateful.

in closing, I quote a random poem excerpt from Dylan Thomas:

Do not go gentle into that good night

Rage against the dying of the light

In essence, you can sleep when you’re dead..